On twitter I see a message from a fellow police
officer, come by. It is no cheerful message, the tekst: “Still much to do! By
backlogs are many officers on the waiting list for PTSD treatment”
This twitter message brings me
right back into my memory of my first encounter with Jacco Bezuijen, a police
officer with PTSD who has willingly worked along in television program;
"Heroes in a fix." Jacco goes into this broadcast into the core of
his mental existence right through the dust of honesty and humanity of serious
incidents that have made him a PTSD victim.
The day after the broadcast I
cycle - in my mind the story of Jacco repeats itself - on my bike to my police
station to work a dayshift patrol and then out of the blue I see a squirrel
crossing the road on his four feet. Next I cycle between lazy geese that lie on
my bike path next to a stream, waddle and chatter. The sun shines upon me from
the left as a brother in arms who lit my path and is highly enjoyable and
nicely warm in humanism terms.
Jacco can’t see this picture
of mine from this nature beauty in progress. Because he lives in a far of City,
but twitter made us brothers in arms. But the real question to Jacco is? Could
he see the little beautiful things every day as I do on this very moment? Who
knows, I hope dearly he does and will do so.
Arrived at the office, I take
the initiative to get in touch with Jacco by email. Probably I fail to my
initiative. Because Jacco has received countless responses to the broadcast of
him and his where a bouts in Copland who let to his PTSD. Many colleges’ men
and women call him a Braveheart, but also desperate and wounded in his
uncontrolled mind. As a matter of speech and translation to my best Dutch!
Affords.
Very soon I get a very nice
personal response from Jacco by email. This has led to a very nice
collaboration of Jacco and me. We make some times photo-blogs of beautiful
moments, experiences and life as it is to us and everyone who passes by in our
eyes or the lens of Pentax his photo camera.
I like to think and say;
everybody, Grab any occasion for the little and beautiful aspects of live as
shows up before you as an uninvited friend. Beyond consideration enjoy and
embrace in the hectic police life of every moment of every day, no matter what,
at all costs.
Core: Police men and women in
all shapes and sizes run unobtrusively around to help where needed,
unsolicited. Described as proud, strong and proud. Happy are those who, in
their team, can have these heroes. As I said, they often belong to a
nondescript kind as that of gray mice. Reamers rubble of buzzing, always ready
and never far away when you need them.
That is the biggest pitfall of
heroes. They are people of flesh and blood brimming with emotions built up
during their inexhaustible work. For many years they walk around with their
mind undigested suffering, where they overstep the line over and over again.
Often to the detriment of
themselves and their families that weeps silently and want another path of
glory in life, just being happy and warm, but this family is not to be heard.
As if a big wall stands between duty and quality family time.
Some of them unfortunately
couldn’t lay off their heroic mantle and by mental plundert and force
exploitation they are not ever be able to be fully employable again. So is
Jacco, what a shame and personal disaster.
Often these heroes with a
badge are the last man standing and refuse to throw the towel in the public
RING of humanity because their job is killing them and they cannot obtain more
psychical blows on their mindset. But still they are going on strong as far as
they get.
Their world filled with
commitment and pragmatism and donor interests collapses just as the great walls
of Jericho in ancient times.
Continuing to mask their
distress when mental conditions make it no longer a losing battle of society.
But unhappily they once again help themselves further into the gutter of
physical need.
A real hero PTSD must not have
to explain him - her and the weakness. The thin blue line is hard and sometimes
felled much too late and much too hard by nearby every common police officer of
flesh and blood.
By their invisible
psychological masquerades the tough world around them seems to see much too
late that they are ill, no longer usable in police force matters. Debit it is a
subcutaneous matchless monster called PTSD, which is a deadly mind-blowing
monster which is secretly masters their mindset completely.
All their experience,
commitment and humanity disappears under this excessive pressure. Again and
again knocked out and beaten by the negative resistance in society, they are no
longer upright to the badge.
Eventually they remain
motionless on the scrapheap. Then it turns black before their eyes. One's own
body helps them to perform their own survival mechanism. They are completely
stripped and stripped of the daily heavy loads and finally they come to realize
their sickness. The twilight of their eyes then. Under pressure all gets liquid
or diamond. That is how it is.
Fortunately in PTSD matters,
more liquids in the form of teardrops drops floats from the eyes and cheeks
downhill from their faces of troubled policemen and -sisters in need, that
indicate the actual situation and nothing else.
The same to our fire fighters
and those brothers and sisters how are military obliged to defend our countries
and the peace on earth.
Then I get more and more in
touch with Jacco by social media. Even from his improvement process he wants to
help people against the many-headed monster PTSD in their struggle. He writes
books. He opens his heart to a human overture.
He is still there, fragile,
broken as a wounded animal in distress scrambles to his feet helped by his home
and especially his muse Sandra and his lovely children.
Despite that it allows him to
the test he takes part in the program HEROES IN A FIX (Helden in de Knel –
Holland). Nice that he does such for himself, his family and especially
selflessly for other victims of PTSD. This monster always tries to make victims
around good ers and diligent hard workers unexpectedly harsh and ruthless
attack and breaks them.
The program Heroes in a fix
opens Jacco’s open personality. Openness, sensitivity and especially his human
weakness, thanks God. With trembling knees though. The Netherlands television
viewers are witnessing yet another heroic act by Jacco, this time on
television.
The confrontation with the
parents of Thom means to him a lot. The Robocop Jacco is a superman. After his
police harness is revealed a tiny person is left. An upright man.
Than humanity. His eyes
glisten. They are wet with emotion, grief and injustice. These are not tears.
They are die-hards.
The string that the
many-headed monster to PTSD can now be unraveled from his neck. Not once, not
twice, but little by little. Maybe not at all, but that is the hard struggle of
life of this man.
Hopefully the little boy who
wants to join the police force, can back up. Everybody grants him this.
In my neighborhood policing
environment I see colleagues fail prolonged by PTSD. The police caught up with
little paces to help them. But luckily help is on its way. That’s the most
important effort. That means many colleagues who suffer from PTSD that will be
discussed how the police leadership in the future can help them at their utmost
best intentions and what work they eventually can handle yet or in the near
future.
That's hard micro personal
craftsmanship in a slowly process to the large backlogs. I hope with good
outcome for everybody involved. But not in all cases, yet. Other samples such
as graphs and figures and legislation make it a difficult trail and partly impassable.
Our colleagues with or without
PTSD deserve respect and good help when this is required, from their employer.
I suddenly realize that
everyone could meet PTSD on his or her path. So never say that will not happen
to me! It is no man’s call. Watch out for the monster PTSD, be beware of your
six!
Of course I made this blog
with permission of Jacco. In my mind I often ask Jacco, what are you doing? His
answer is always; Han, Luctor et Emergo.
Okay Jacco, at your own pace
and own path, so I hope for you. You are struggling but I'm sure you emerges.
